Twenty-twenty has been just one ginormous lump of coal Remember when you were a kid, you used to get The Christmas Talk? Be a good girl, a nice boy, or Santa will put a lump of coal in your stocking. And you just rolled your eyes. A lump of coal! What kind of child-abusing scumbag … Continue reading For God’s Sake, Don’t Look in Your Stocking
https://youtu.be/X1zFnyEe3nE I'VE BEEN FEELING MIGHTY GUILTY about taking a little summer staycation in my hot, moist hometown of Toronto, Canada—a city of cheap condos that rain sheets of glass curtain wall onto the bed of a lake that evaporated ten thousand years ago—because, as I swelter in my kinky Mormon undergarments that I purchased second … Continue reading A quiet staycation in my personal psychiatric ward
Hello, many of you have written to ask if I'm OK. Actually, that's a blatant lie, not a single one of you has written, sent a message in an old Shiraz bottle, hired a bird from "Carrier Pigeons Plus" or done any of those "too busy to express how little I care but spending a portion … Continue reading Just getting up from the Ditch of Despond and climbing back onto the Carousel of Crazy: An overview
Yes, it's nostalgia time here at slowpainful dot com, and this of course means I'm going to fob you off with repurposed material. Never, and believe me when I say it, NEVER forget how good I am to you. The first barrel of crude comes courtesy of, you guessed it, my fracking source of choice for black, sticky narcissism, Facebook. … Continue reading Memory Lane, c/o The Little Cottage with the Delphiniums, Cabbagetown, Toronto.