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BREAKING NEWS: Totally Anticipated Situations We’ve Had Ample Time To Wrap Our Heads Around Are Causing Utter Chaos

Because... That's Just What We Do Now In a shock seasonal weather event that has Canadians reeling with the absolute expectedness of it all, Toronto, the largest city in a country famous for hardly anything apart from its cold winters with masses of snow, ground to a total, shocked halt on January 17th, 2022 — a day … Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: Totally Anticipated Situations We’ve Had Ample Time To Wrap Our Heads Around Are Causing Utter Chaos

Amy Coney Barrett is an Actual Handmaid

I wish I was joking ♥ for Roz My suspicions were first aroused when Amy Coney Barrett—and do you mind if I just refer to her from now on as "ACB"? I have my health to consider—when ACB remarked, apropos the MO of Supreme Court Justices, "We're not just a bunch of partisan hacks!" I … Continue reading Amy Coney Barrett is an Actual Handmaid

It’s Not About the Freaking Filibuster

and it's not incumbent on Democrats to save US democracy This week, Joe Biden traveled to Georgia, that bastion of color-blind equality, to make a hell-raising speech in which he drew a line in the sand: Which side are you on? Are you on the side of democracy, or the side of authoritarianism? Racial justice … Continue reading It’s Not About the Freaking Filibuster

Extremists are Treating Biden Like He’s Not the Legit President

The problem is they're on the Left. When is a President not a President? When seventy percent of Republicans believe that Biden stole the election from Trump, accepting without reservation Trump’s astonishing, brazen lie that he lost only through deliberate and massive voter fraud — which every election official, right or left, affirms did not … Continue reading Extremists are Treating Biden Like He’s Not the Legit President

Canada Must Stop Enabling Québec’s Islamophobia

"Laïcité" sounds like a straightforward, even desirable, concept—until you understand its hypocrisy and witness its very intentional consequences. French culture is one of the wonders of the world. I can't think of any other which can claim such mastery in every endeavor, from food and wine, to fashion, to literature, art and music, capped with … Continue reading Canada Must Stop Enabling Québec’s Islamophobia

Joy to the World, Unless You’re Dead

In which case, congratulations Merry Coronadays, readers! Are you dead yet? No? What’s holding you up, and what can I do to encourage you? Because the latest stats show that you should be, with a standard deviation of ±3 percentage points. Get with the program and do your part, so everyone can be right about … Continue reading Joy to the World, Unless You’re Dead

Ministress of Silky Sheen

Plus: Where the fuck is Kamala Oojamacallit? CANADIAN FINANCE MINISTER, Deputy Prime Minister in a pinch, something to do with Alberta for a couple of days but it didn’t work out, Justin Trudeau's Official BFF Next to Sophie-Grégoire, and Dry-Cleaning Picker-Upper without portfolio Chrystia Freeland delivered her budget speech on April 19, 2021, after performing … Continue reading Ministress of Silky Sheen

Serious Two-Bite Brownie Habit

it helps me forget how awful we've become 1. Awful Sex I'M SUFFERING TODAY FROM Eine-kleine-schokolade-kuchen-schade, the bewildered, shmooshed-together feelings of shame, hopelessness and despair I experience walking home from the corner store, having purchased a pack of "Two-Bite Brownies" for later, mindful delectation. But I am desperately empty now and I eat them en … Continue reading Serious Two-Bite Brownie Habit

Aubade du vieux désagréable / (Morning Song of the Horrible Old Man)

Just - desserts... I’m old, I’m bold,Unnaturally cold,I won’t behave as I’ve been told. My greasy dishes fill the sink—I’d rather dally with a twink. Parquet burnt with cigarettesWon’t get me listed in Debrett’s Kawartha ice cream by the quartIs felony, but not a tort I sleep till noon and mock your ethic:Wage slavery is … Continue reading Aubade du vieux désagréable / (Morning Song of the Horrible Old Man)