Dems Reeling as Kyrsten Sinema Retaliates

Kyrsten: Mistress of the Dems! With a startling and cynical manoeuvre that has left the Democratic congress in tatters, Kyrsten Sinema — miffed when Chuck Schumer advised her, via text: “No third-act redemption for YOU, Little Miss Stonewall, I’m gonna play with the cool kids from now on! Nyaaaaah!” — decided to send everyone at the Capitol a message … Continue reading Dems Reeling as Kyrsten Sinema Retaliates

Amy Coney Barrett is an Actual Handmaid

I wish I was joking ♥ for Roz My suspicions were first aroused when Amy Coney Barrett—and do you mind if I just refer to her from now on as "ACB"? I have my health to consider—when ACB remarked, apropos the MO of Supreme Court Justices, "We're not just a bunch of partisan hacks!" I … Continue reading Amy Coney Barrett is an Actual Handmaid

Extremists are Treating Biden Like He’s Not the Legit President

The problem is they're on the Left. When is a President not a President? When seventy percent of Republicans believe that Biden stole the election from Trump, accepting without reservation Trump’s astonishing, brazen lie that he lost only through deliberate and massive voter fraud — which every election official, right or left, affirms did not … Continue reading Extremists are Treating Biden Like He’s Not the Legit President

I’m Not One Hundred Percent Sure That Pandemics Bring Out the Best in Me

horizons shrink, waistlines expand, and Americans find freedom in the most unlikely places THERE AIN'T NO ONE IN THIS WHOLE wide world angrier than a white American CoronaZombie told they can't go to their vacation home. "Let my people go! Tell old Pharaoh—" "Naw, he sounds Muslim—tell Alex Jones instead!" I'm conflating, maybe even extrapolating, … Continue reading I’m Not One Hundred Percent Sure That Pandemics Bring Out the Best in Me

On Differences of Opinion

Flash mobs of stupid conservative bigots are monopolizing our headspace OCCASIONALLY, DEAR READER, I AM FORCED to come up with a statement of principles. This usually happens when I've been online, getting exasperated by and attempting to respond to the comments of conservatives who are all in a panic about some class of people they … Continue reading On Differences of Opinion

A convenient hero…

... and a broken promise. Frederick Douglass, from a speech delivered in Rochester, N.Y., 1852. FREDERICK DOUGLASS, A BLACK MAN who escaped from slavery in the state of Maryland and through monumental efforts of self-education and determination became one of the most celebrated abolitionists, activists, writers, orators and statesmen of the nineteenth-century, is celebrated as … Continue reading A convenient hero…

A Case of Dementia in Squirrels

lost: a few nuts randomly buried under the Statue of Fuckery WHATEVER YOU POST IN AN INTERNET FORUM, no matter how bat-shit insane or obviously fueled by malice, becomes instantly and indisputably true, provided you make your case with the absolute conviction of a Supreme Court justice and the fire and brimstone of a born-again … Continue reading A Case of Dementia in Squirrels

This is How You Blackmail Jeff Bezos, Guys

DEAR MR. BEZOS: YEAH, SO. JUST READ the descriptions of those pics the National Enquirer got their hands on, and should Amazon customers see them — which would clearly be in their best interest — they would, quite frankly, question your business judgment. I certainly do! I do also have just a few really quite minor suggestions about your … Continue reading This is How You Blackmail Jeff Bezos, Guys

Little Brother Is Watching You, Aghast

Also Ever So Slightly Enviously AS I STOOD NAKED IN MY KITCHEN THE OTHER MORNING, smoking my first Pall Mall Red of the day, desperate for a pee and staring with pink, watery rabbit eyes at the jars of Colombian Roast, Gold Espresso and Special Regular Blend flash-frozen crystals while debating my options— —whether I … Continue reading Little Brother Is Watching You, Aghast