Lockdown lunacy, a challenge for Nicole—and Trump's "come-as-dumb-as-you-are" farewell party, with sparklers. I’M PANDEMICKED, WHO ARE YOU? ARE you Pandemicked, too? Did you awaken this morning, as I did, with a stone for a heart, and emitting a groan that echoed through the inner city like twelve ambulances en route to a burning trap house? … Continue reading A Forced March Into an Already-Old New Year
behind every great man... The White House, just before the putsch "Hey Mel. Mel? Yeah, vhat? Mel? Is that you? I can't hear too good on this baby intercom thing. What? What was that? Jeezus. Couldn't you just, I dunno. Uber me, like, over to the Hilton? Donald. Dahlink. Is four in morning. Is it … Continue reading United Corona States of America
Trump voters aren't "morons." Just white. THANK MINERVA, GODDESS OF DISAPPOINTMENT and flaked tuna in broth, that things have settled up here in the blazing hot frozen north. Justin has closed down Parliament, delegated the shame to Bill Morneau, and appointed his bestie, like, FOREVERRRRR, Chrystia Freeland, to fill the post of Finance Ministress. Deputy, … Continue reading Suitably Deranged
Sander-nistas are Bernie's desperate(ly) woke chicks SANDER-NISTA CHICKS ARE HOT for Bernie. They love Bernie! They love his angry, shouty old man speeches about the economy, his absurdly over-ambitious election platform, his inability to compromise, and (or so I like to fantasize), underpinning it all like a couple of size ten granola bars, his well-worn Birkenstocks. Sander-nista … Continue reading Emotional blackmail for the unelectable?
Young progressives find woke new ways to throw shade at "the gays" FUNNY THING ABOUT PETE Buttigieg. People, especially Young People, don't like him. I mean, they really don't like him. The just-hatched harpies of the intolerant left speak of Pete’s falling fortunes as though they occurred in a vacuum and based solely on his … Continue reading Fear of Queer
In which I change my name to Nancy-David and introduce Cindy the Attack Orchid. Well, I can't find my hideously expensive under-eye serum but I also can't put this live broadcast thing off any longer, or my coach-in-a-box—who's more like a coach who's a box—will cover me with glossy, stiff peaks of meringue and throw … Continue reading Book Launch Reveal # 5
(it's all about electability, people) I’M A CANADIAN WHO TAKES A KEEN interest in American politics, out of necessity (q.v. “in bed with an elephant,” the phrase coined by Pierre Trudeau, father of Justin, back in the day when Trudeaux — is that the plural? We’ll say it is — still had some clout and even left the house … Continue reading Elizabeth Warren, scrappy pit-bull for justice: a love story