We make art because life is an affliction a fatal accident, frame by framea flaming vehicle screaming jesusbecause life is an iron maiden manglingwith twenty twisting augers, heaven's marauding tenant killing with one casual crush of a thumb because there is no hope except we midwife something not of fleshthus impervious to painAnd so we … Continue reading Saint Catherine Speaks Candidly to Saint Cecilia on the Occasion of Their Single Foray Into Town Together on Market Wednesday
The plastic sandwich bag from the shelter was helpfully labelled "God loves you. Ham and Cheese." I took it from there... into a realm of pure, puerile, polymorphous perverse filth, so, like, NSFW. Or anywhere, really. Don't say I didn't warn ya. MY PAPPA HAD A SAYIN' That seemed to help him copeNo matter he … Continue reading Ballad of the Good Shepherd Sandwich (NSFW)
Let's burn the rest of them down, too. Please—don't pray for us. YES, GENTLE READERS, TODAY'S THEME IS "disasters, real or imagined" and to kick off, I must apologize for my absence from these bloggy parts during the last few weeks. You know how much I crave your attention, and the very quickest among you … Continue reading I’m Just So Very Much NOT Hysterical About Notre-Dame de Paris
...to Louis C.K., not so much. HAPPY NEW YEAR. Welcome to the dank, stinking, deep-webbed birth of two thousand nineteen C.E., the year born with a widow's peak and with swastika-black cat-eyes wide open; the year that explodes from the belly already signed-up for Uber and deploying its influential personal brand. Two thousand nineteen is … Continue reading In which I make nice to evangelical Christians…
Just Occurred To Me #498: It's been common knowledge for years now that people in Kansas don't believe in evolution and insist the earth is only 6,000 years old - (that's younger than Cher, if you need a reference - please see conceptualization, above. I know, right??). This raises serious scientific questions. Thing is - … Continue reading Young Earth Creationists need to take Cher into account.
Never forget how good I am to you. For although not a single soul has written to request further wet- and/or hard-making stories of my shameless, controlled-substance-derived debauchery, I naturally take it for granted that you were simply too shy, or still too busy wanking to the last lot to shoot off - if you'll pardon the expression - an … Continue reading Bucket of Fresh Cow Offal : A Primer
To kick off this exercise in self-flagellation, let me share a post I made online – or "on the computer" as my Luddite friends say – earlier this week. Here it is, beginning under the image - which is just a screenshot, so don't sit there clicking on it. I mean, really. “ ... And one … Continue reading In which I admit that I’m kind of wrong about something, but only in a way that totally validates me. So don’t get too excited.