Saint Catherine Speaks Candidly to Saint Cecilia on the Occasion of Their Single Foray Into Town Together on Market Wednesday

We make art because life is an affliction a fatal accident, frame by framea flaming vehicle screaming jesusbecause life is an iron maiden manglingwith twenty twisting augers, heaven's marauding tenant killing with one casual crush of a thumb because there is no hope except we midwife something not of fleshthus impervious to painAnd so we …

Ballad of the Good Shepherd Sandwich (NSFW)

The plastic sandwich bag from the shelter was helpfully labelled "God loves you. Ham and Cheese." I took it from there... into a realm of pure, puerile, polymorphous perverse filth, so, like, NSFW. Or anywhere, really. Don't say I didn't warn ya. MY PAPPA HAD A SAYIN' That seemed to help him copeNo matter he …

I’m Just So Very Much NOT Hysterical About Notre-Dame de Paris

Let's burn the rest of them down, too. Please—don't pray for us. YES, GENTLE READERS, TODAY'S THEME IS "disasters, real or imagined" and to kick off, I must apologize for my absence from these bloggy parts during the last few weeks. You know how much I crave your attention, and the very quickest among you …

In which I make nice to evangelical Christians…

...to Louis C.K., not so much. HAPPY NEW YEAR. Welcome to the dank, stinking, deep-webbed birth of two thousand nineteen C.E., the year born with a widow's peak and with swastika-black cat-eyes wide open; the year that explodes from the belly already signed-up for Uber and deploying its influential personal brand. Two thousand nineteen is …

Young Earth Creationists need to take Cher into account.

Just Occurred To Me #498: It's been common knowledge for years now that people in Kansas don't believe in evolution and insist the earth is only 6,000 years old - (that's younger than Cher, if you need a reference - please see conceptualization, above. I know, right??). This raises serious scientific questions. Thing is - …

Bucket of Fresh Cow Offal : A Primer

Never forget how good I am to you.  For although not a single soul has written to request further wet- and/or hard-making stories of my shameless, controlled-substance-derived debauchery, I naturally take it for granted that you were simply too shy, or still too busy wanking to the last lot to shoot off - if you'll pardon the expression  - an …

In which I admit that I’m kind of wrong about something, but only in a way that totally validates me. So don’t get too excited.

To kick off this exercise in self-flagellation, let me share a post I made online – or "on the computer" as my Luddite friends say – earlier this week.  Here it is, beginning under the image - which is just a screenshot, so don't sit there clicking on it.  I mean, really. “   ... And one …