Lectins: Just In Case You Thought It Was Safe To Eat Something

Maybe... frosting? Mummy Lectin, Little Lectin, Daddy Lectin I HAD A BRIEF ACTING CAREER, beginning in London, England, in the late nineteen-eighties and continuing in Toronto in the early to mid nineteen-nineties, and the scary quotes around acting are so much a given that I spared myself the trouble of including them. In London I … Continue reading Lectins: Just In Case You Thought It Was Safe To Eat Something

A Case of Dementia in Squirrels

lost: a few nuts randomly buried under the Statue of Fuckery WHATEVER YOU POST IN AN INTERNET FORUM, no matter how bat-shit insane or obviously fueled by malice, becomes instantly and indisputably true, provided you make your case with the absolute conviction of a Supreme Court justice and the fire and brimstone of a born-again … Continue reading A Case of Dementia in Squirrels

How Much is a [Gay] Life Worth?

twenty-five years with the possibility of parole Bruce McArthur will be 91 when he is able to apply for parole. CREDIT: Pam Davies/CBC Bruce McArthur, the serial killer who targeted gay men in Toronto from 2010 to 2017 — yes, for eight years — and who evaded capture even after being brought in for questioning as a suspect in 2013, … Continue reading How Much is a [Gay] Life Worth?

Little Brother Is Watching You, Aghast

Also Ever So Slightly Enviously AS I STOOD NAKED IN MY KITCHEN THE OTHER MORNING, smoking my first Pall Mall Red of the day, desperate for a pee and staring with pink, watery rabbit eyes at the jars of Colombian Roast, Gold Espresso and Special Regular Blend flash-frozen crystals while debating my options— —whether I … Continue reading Little Brother Is Watching You, Aghast

In which I make nice to evangelical Christians…

...to Louis C.K., not so much. HAPPY NEW YEAR. Welcome to the dank, stinking, deep-webbed birth of two thousand nineteen C.E., the year born with a widow's peak and with swastika-black cat-eyes wide open; the year that explodes from the belly already signed-up for Uber and deploying its influential personal brand. Two thousand nineteen is … Continue reading In which I make nice to evangelical Christians…

Global warming: Real but “not existential?” Seriously?

Even worse than the deniers? "Experts" who downplay the crisis. Mexico Beach, Florida, showing destruction by Hurricane MichaelCredit: David Goldman/AP Dear Scientific Expert: you have scientific cred like nobody’s business, yet you get all rolly-eyed on climate change. That’s what I don’t get. As far as I understand, and I understand maybe slightly more than the … Continue reading Global warming: Real but “not existential?” Seriously?

In Defence of Deviance

Toronto's PRIDE 2017 celebrated diversity and inclusion. Yet some people—even some gay men—still think that's a shame. Men, men, men!  Not a flicker of humor in a back room full of us!  Forever shooting our wads, then rolling away from the damp spot and falling asleep; forever forgetting that ejaculation is for Christmas, but a snuggle … Continue reading In Defence of Deviance

I think my being poor is the result of gluten sensitivity. ‘Cause it couldn’t be the Rooneys.

Many so-called people, perhaps even you, seem stuck on the extremely random idea that the reason I have no money is that I don't have a job. This is the kind of low-life, white trash, neo-liberal cant I'm forced to deal with these days. The mouth-breathers who spout this kind of nonsense, when not being Heimlich'd … Continue reading I think my being poor is the result of gluten sensitivity. ‘Cause it couldn’t be the Rooneys.

The “Gay Agenda” finally Revealed

click on the image to reveal the horror Yes, it's true. The social conservatives were right: there's a culture war. We gays have been planning it since, oh, since we were comparing make-up on the school playground. We just want to make sure that there's a new, fresh crop of gay kids so there'll always … Continue reading The “Gay Agenda” finally Revealed