… and you’re invited to join me.
PATREON PAGES ARE LIVE
Hey, it’s David. Remember me? The guy who hangs around here, sweeping up the sawdust and pouring all the bits of beer left in the cans into one glass as I roll a smoke out of your cigarette butts?
Man. I call that a party!
I’ve gathered you here, pressed to my hairy bosom, to tell you about a community I’m creating around my writing, my blogging, and my digital art—a community which I hope will include you, Murgatroyd McGraw.
You know me, you’re familiar with what I do. You probably don’t really need a lengthy introduction. And I feel I can speak to you frankly. I mean, we’re all adults…
(Though in my case, it’s obviously a matter of timing. My adulting tends to flicker on and off like a burlesque dancer’s ostrich-feather fan.)
You know that I’ve been here for eight years
- doing my humorist-blogger, aghast-observer-of-world-politics snarky-satirical thing, with
- a pinch of self-deprecating personal essay, more than
- a smattering of mind-bending graphic art,
- all served, with an ever-so-slightly-gay crooked little finger (and the merest hint of that petulant scrunching up of the mouth known as a “moue“), on
- a doily crocheted on that giant wooden frame that takes up half the garage
- and on which I cobbled together my first early-adopter web pages, back in the mist-shrouded twilight years of the last century.
Oh, good. We’re up to speed.
That being the case, and with all the subtlety of a blind burn victim shoving a tin cup at you with his blistered hand and accidentally thwacking you in the knee caps:
I’m inviting you to become one of my supporters on PATREON.
I’m so glad you asked! PATREON is a well-established online platform where creatives find and create a community with people who admire, and wish to support, their creative pursuits.
Here’s how it works: The supporters (patrons, or maybe patreons…? No) pledge a monthly amount of as little as (in my case) $5. This helps the creator with a more predictable income stream and, equally important, empowers the creator by acknowledging the value of what they create.
(Cue David, at his fantasy Oscar ceremony, clutching the statuette and sobbing, “They like me. They really like me!“, at which point all the people standing close to me on the Queen streetcar move away slowly, but at least I get a seat.)
Creators offer several levels of support to choose from. And although the ideal is to support the creator for the long haul, there’s no obligation to do so and supporters can discontinue at any time.
Some Creators ask Patrons to support specific works on a pay-per basis; my model is a monthly subscription, offering patrons access to everything I produce during their membership, and an archive of past work as well.
However, in my case, just by default, donations will also help with the preparation of my second collection of humorous essays, due out early winter 2023.
In exchange, patrons receive tangible and intangible benefits according to the amount pledged monthly. These specific benefits can include special merchandise, members-only content, early access to new work, online talks and readings—anything the creator’s imagination can come up with, really. I offer all of those benefits, and I’m currently working on adding more to the five tiers I offer, including copies of, and even acknowledgment in, my upcoming book.
But the purpose of a pledge on Patreon isn’t really to “buy stuff.” It’s much more like a membership that gives you access to my work, in all its stages, the tiered benefits, and a community of support around that.
Even better, the PATREON ecosystem is, thanks to these donations, completely free of ads.
Please take a moment when you can to » check out my creator pages to get a feeling for what I’m creating and the benefits I’m offering.
It’s only a few days old, so if it’s still burbling and blowing saliva bubbles in its cot… be aware that this blog and my Patreon presence are soon going to be merged and married in a kind of magical Jungian-archetypal poontang ceremony—Zeus and Hera couldn’t even get tickets, darling— so that most of my content will be gated.
As well, seeing as you’re actually on my blog, take a look around here, if you haven’t done so recently. A quick glance at some of my recent essays and articles should help you decide if my style of progressive-leaning political satire and delightfully amusing personal essay is a creative project you could enjoy and would be eager to support.
Dig deep! I’ve been here for quite a spell. Look under the sofa cushions, you might find some loose change, or that samosa that fell off my plate back in 2014.
You can also see my current book for sale on Amazon.ca, Google Books, Indigo, Barnes and Noble and at Lulu.com, my publisher—just search for A Slow, Painful Death Would Be Too Good for You… and you’ll surely find me.
(Hint: purchasing my book would be another fine way to support me if you don’t feel ready to pledge a donation on PATREON, though a copy of my book is one of the benefits you’ll receive from pledging. Just sayin’…)
I really hope you’ll consider being a patron of mine, and to encourage you, there’s a special offer which you’ll benefit from:
Join before November 5th, 2022, and you’ll be entitled to attend a special online event: A live reading where you can hang out with other supporters and be regaled by me with new work and some of the best of my blog.
Live reading Saturday, November 5th, 2022,
from 1pm to 3pm EDT.
Can I count on your support? Please think about it—I would be so pleased to see you there!
That’s all for now. Feel free to be in touch, ask any questions, or just to say, “hi”. You can reach me at 647 767 0752 (text first) or at firstname.lastname@example.org
See you very soon,