The Pandemic: An Unprecedented Opportunity To Profit From Disaster

Humans have spent at least fifty percent of their lifetimes—starting from that day when Throg first saw Scrog wearing a new kind of fur jacket, clubbed him over the head, then took it—wondering a couple of things:

  1. Why am I here and if I pretended to be in contact with Wilbur, the Great Caribou in the sky, could I obtain more new kinds of fur jackets (power)?
  2. How can I aid David in consolidating his financial wealth so that he, too, can build himself a spaceship that doesn’t even leave the Earth’s atmosphere, instead of his original idea, which was eradicating world hunger and 1970’s fashion, but those original ideas turned out to be too much trouble and, frankly, kind of a downer?

Running with the answer to question (2): Check out my merch on my sister site (not my step sis site, which would be porn, and actually, doesn’t “stepsis” sound like a nasty throat infection? Well, serve you right for sleeping with her!)

My sister site is Future Progressive.com, offering lifestyle merch for the discerning liberal, that’s you, Murgatroyd McGraw.

My latest offering: Masks with a Message

Guaranteed to get you punched in the kisser by a morbidly obese MAGA Hatter, these 100% cotton masks help protect you while flaunting your progressive cred.

For a limited time, purchase at a special introductory price of $9.99 CDN

Check out my masks, and other merch, on FutureProgressive.

I am David Roddis, and I approved this message.

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