SlowPainful : The Book

Help support my creative work for just $1.99 (+ tax)

Special Offer:

I’m currently offering the
e-pub version of my cult classic

“A Slow, Painful Death Would Be Too Good for You (and Other Observations):
A Pillow Book for Dyspeptics”

for the irresistible price of one dollar ninety-nine cents with immediate download.

(Link takes you safely to my sister site, The Future Progressive.
You’ll receive an email with a link to download the ebook right after purchase).

“But I’m not a reader!” you cry, desperately ramming a smartphone into each eye socket.

If you don’t consider yourself “a reader”, first of all, let me reassure you: Once you’ve successfully read the title of my book, the hardest part of reading my book is done. You’re gonna ace this!

And the format of my book is in short, easily digested chapters that you can dip into and dip out of again.

Like the way you dip your crinkle-cut chips into the sour cream + Lipton-onion-soup-mix dip. We’re watching you do this like we watch a train wreck in slow motion because we are all, suddenly, at high risk for monkey pox.

Thanks a bunch. Anal sex and onion-sour-cream dip. Those are the top risk factors.

Don’t even ask about combining the two! WTF?!

Buy The Book: because you need a good laugh, and, honestly, I need the validation. Also some food (not dip).

You can also:

» Find out more


» Read an excerpt

Praise for The Book

“Just as we’re on the verge of
losing gay quintessentials

like camp and irony, along comes David Roddis and A Slow Painful Death Would Be Too Good for You (and Other Observations),” a collection of personal and satirical essays told in the style that made gay people infamous for just being funnier.

“Roddis breathes life into a nearly lost art of arch wit, making it great to be gay again.”

— Shaun Proulx
Writer, speaker, host of SiriusXM’s The Shaun Proulx Show. Founder of #ThoughtRevolution