SlowPainful : The Book
Help support my creative work for just $1.99 (+ tax)
Special Offer until June 30th:
I’m currently offering the
e-pub version of my cult classic
“A Slow, Painful Death Would Be Too Good for You (and Other Observations):
A Pillow Book for Dyspeptics”
for the irresistible price of one dollar ninety-nine cents with immediate download.
(Link takes you safely to my sister site, The Future Progressive.
You’ll receive an email with a link to download the ebook right after purchase).
I’m currently preparing my second collection of hilarious, thought-provoking and just downright snarky articles both personal and political, all of them ever-so-slightly redolent of gay.
But did you enjoy the first collection yet? Permit me to save you from yourself, Murgatroyd McGraw!
I’m currently offering the e-pub version of my cult classic
“A Slow, Painful Death Would Be Too Good for You (and Other Observations): A Pillow Book for Dyspeptics”
for the irresistible price of one dollar ninety-nine cents.
Of course plus taxes! Jeezus! I’m already giving you the book, you want I should pay your taxes, too? Look carefully at my forehead: Does it say “Property of Elon Musk”?
Damn right it doesn’t, and if you ask me, any billionaire who can just ignore thirty-five phone calls from masked numbers between three and four AM, not that anyone I know has done that, has some serious mental health issues. I actually feel sorry for him. I really do.
“But I’m not a reader!” you cry, desperately ramming your smartphone into your face.
If you’re not “a reader”, first of all, let me reassure you: Once you’ve successfully read the title of my book, the hardest part of reading my book is done. You’re gonna ace this!
And the format of my book is in short, easily digested chapters that you can dip into and dip out of again.
Like the way you dip your crinkle-cut chips into the sour cream + Lipton-onion-soup-mix dip, and we’re watching you do this like we watch a train wreck in slow motion because we are all, suddenly, at high risk for monkey pox.
Thanks a bunch. Anal sex and onion-sour-cream dip. Those are the top risk factors.
Don’t even ask about combining the two! WTF?!
Buy The Book: because you need a good laugh, and, honestly, I need the validation. Also some food (not dip). And this offer is only available until June 30th.
Seriously. As you’re a devoted, or even first-time, reader of my blog, I’m going to give it to you straight: If you’ve read and enjoyed my work over the past eight years, help me by buying one copy of my e-book for $1.99 plus tax. You can’t even get a coffee for that! he said, desperately breaking down and employing that old saw about cups of coffee.
Look, just do it, OK? And you’ll support my work on this blog, for which my sincere thanks.
I am David Roddis and I approved this message.
You can also:
Praise for The Book
“Just as we’re on the verge of
losing gay quintessentials
like camp and irony, along comes David Roddis and “A Slow Painful Death Would Be Too Good for You (and Other Observations),” a collection of personal and satirical essays told in the style that made gay people infamous for just being funnier.
“Roddis breathes life into a nearly lost art of arch wit, making it great to be gay again.”
— Shaun Proulx
Writer, speaker, host of SiriusXM’s The Shaun Proulx Show. Founder of #ThoughtRevolution